I’m back in London. It’s a short trip, getting shorter by the day, but I’m here.
When I was getting ready to return to London, I became nervous. I was afraid I’d get back here and things would be different. I feared that all those feelings I had experienced while living here would be gone. Perhaps I had imagined it all or built London up in my head because I had wanted so badly to be happy here. I was afraid I wouldn’t like London anymore because it might not live up to the wonderfulness I had attached to it.
Returning to London Felt Like Coming Home
It turns out that those little fears were unfounded. Returning to London felt like coming home. As soon as my feet were back on British soil, the weight of the previous year began to lift. I was exhausted from not sleeping and the rigours of a 10-hour flight. Nevertheless, I felt alive and ready to get back to where I belonged.
I didn’t make it through passport control as smoothly as I had hoped (that’s a whole other story) but I was still calm and relaxed. It was a sense of calm I don’t think I had felt for a year. I got on the Tube for the hour-long journey into Bloomsbury, where I was staying, and it felt as though I had never left.
That’s how it’s been for the past week. Like I’ve never left. The only reminder that I had been gone came when I met up with friends and we had to catch up on a year’s worth of news. Otherwise, I’m back to enjoying walking around the city, visiting my favourite spots and seeing people I had missed who make me feel at home.
Of course, some things are different. It’s been a year. Places change, people change, life continues to go on while you are away. That’s just how it’s meant to work.
I knew I had changed — and probably not for the better — so I did not expect everything to be exactly as I had left it when I made that horrible journey back to the States. It was good to know that I hadn’t imagined the happiness I had felt during the year and a half I lived here.
Finding My Way Back to Writing
One of the happiest results of being back is that I have started writing again. It is a slow process, with lots of scattered ideas that have either floated around my head or been collected on my computer. After not writing a word that wasn’t work-related for about ten months, it is a relief to have those ideas again — and not to be afraid of communicating them.
Incredibly, many of the unhappy thoughts disappeared as soon as the plane landed. Perhaps I hadn’t imagined that sense of belonging after all.
I am as excited as can be, both that you’re happy and that we’ll see more writing. Love you!
I am so glad that you are writing again and that you are so happy. I was a little worried myself that London would not like up to your memories. I cannot tell you how happy I am that we were both worried for naught. I love you so.